D is for Dependency
It seems I'm in a D mood lately. Dependency, dreaming, domestication... DDD.
This morning I had a realization how dependent I've become. I was thinking of going for a run or a bike ride, or both. I thought a bike ride on the trail would be nice, but I would have to go alone. That was a big deterrent in my mind (there's the D again). Then I wondered, "What the hell is wrong with me? I can ride a bike alone." Yet even after that realization, I was still debating (D) on whether or not to go.
I went. It was grand. I decided (D) to only ride, mainly because I couldn't find the bike racks at the park (found them after I gave up the idea of the run, so I'll know next time). Six and a half miles, mulling over and over in my mind why I don't want to do (DD) things alone anymore. I no longer want to go out and grab dinner (D) by myself; I rarely go out to shop, because it will be by myself. I used to never have this problem. I did all sorts of things all by my lonesome.
Goal: get over it.
Realization: I love having Raju to do stuff with. It's like having a best friend around all the time. Except he's not around all the time. He has a life. I have a life. We have a life. I should live my life. Starting with the bike ride this morning. Maybe I'll follow up with lunch at the pho restaurant. Hopefully dinner will be shared over a nice glass of wine, though. Me sharing - that's another topic.
Labels: Domestic Life, Observances, Stream of Consciousness, Stresses
posted by courtney @ 10:19 AM
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